Mary Rose's Garden Too

New look in the Garden

2011-11-22T08:29:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I posted in this section of my garden. Blogger now how the ability to link blogs and web pages together with tabs. I'm setting up tabs in Mary Rose's Garden and will look over and break up the body of work in all my blogs to make more sense. Thinking of having tabs for Discipline of Self-Esteem, Childhood Memories, Cooking, Gardening, Genealogy, Musings, Rob and Mary Rose News, Opinions, and then Faith Formation. Under Faith Formation, I'll have catechist resources and parent resources- but only one Faith Formation link from the main page. Hopefully this will help you to keep in touch with those parts of the garden that you like best! More to come...

What a difference a day makes

2011-09-21T23:36:00.001-04:00

Well, today we are at the three loss scenario, so Y has clinched the division (drats!) and RS and TB are in a race for the WC- and the LA Angels are tied with TB at 2.5 games back from the RS on the WC spot.

It's getting a little too tight to call it- and there are three teams now- so I guess we just wait until we find that one of the three teams clinch the WC.

AL East Race to the Pennant

2011-09-20T23:06:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year when I look forward to seeing Tampa Bay challenging the usual AL East suspects to a berth in the play offs. A month ago, it couldn't happen- but now it is exciting. As it looks like there is nothing in the way of a certain team (we'll call them Y) winning the pennant, I looked at the remaining games and realized that since Y is only playing the Rays and the Red Sox for the rest of the year, there are scenarios where any of the three teams can win the pennant. While it is certain that as I am writing this, some of the stats are changing, this was the scenario before 10 PM today.

Rays are playing 7 games against Y and 3 games against Z. Red Sox are playing 3 games against Y and 5 games against X.

No Loss Scenario.
If neither team loses to Y for the rest of the season, Y will have 92 wins and 70 losses. Red Sox need to win 1 additional game and Rays need to win no additional games to tie this. That means that Y could be shut out and the pennant would be down to the Rays and Red Sox.

1 Loss Scenarios (93 wins- 69 losses)
If the loss is RS then RS needs 2 additional wins and Rays need 1 additional win to tie.
If the loss is Rays then both teams need 2 additional wins to tie.
In both these scenarios Y could be shut out and the pennant would be down to the Rays and Red Sox.

2 Loss Scenarios (94 wins- 68 Losses)
If one loss each then RS need 4 additional wins and Rays need 3 additional wins.
If both losses are RS, then RS need 5 and Rays need 2- only Rays can take 1st with an additional win.
If both losses are Rays, then RS need 3 and Rays can't get enough wins- RS can take 1st with an additional win.

3 Loss Scenarios (95 wins- 67 Losses)
If all losses are Rays, they are out, Red Sox can win with 5 additional
If all losses are RS,they are out, Rays can win with 3 additional
If one loss is RS, the best they can hope for is tied for 1st.
If one loss is Rays, Y wins and RS-Rays tied for 2nd.

4 Loss Scenarios (96 wins- 66 Losses)
If Rays have 1 loss and RS have 3- Rays win WC.
Otherwise for 4 loss scenarios- RS win WC

5 Loss Scenarios (97 wins 65 Losses)
If Rays have the 2 Losses then RS and Rays are tied for 2nd.
All other patterns then Y is first, RS is WC.

6 or more losses- Y is first, RS is WC.

So if we don't want Y to win (and we don't) then Rays and Red Sox better make sure that Y wins no more than 3 games for the rest of the season. For Rays to be in the play-offs, they can't lose more than 2 games to Y. But Rays winning the pennant is not impossible- at least tonight.

Both games are over. Rays lost to Y. Red Sox lost one additional game. I'll figure out what means another day.

Good night!

A touch of the garden

2011-09-02T08:02:00.003-04:00

It really is a great thing to grow your own food- no matter how small a bit it is. In the heat of the summer, the only thing that is thriving is the basil.

Just look at my poor oregano!

But this morning, to get lunch for work, all I have to do is take a few sprigs of basil, thyme, and oregano, some kosher salt and freshly ground pepper- place it on top of some frozen chicken breast, and in less than an hour at 350 degrees, I have a gourmet chicken cooked to perfection for my lunch!

Doesn't this look gorgeous?

Heart of West Medway

2011-08-13T09:32:00.001-04:00

This is an aerial photo from the Retro Medway facebook page. We only lived here 4 or 5 months here in the fall/winter of 1959- but this neighborhood is full of memories for me. If you look just north of the church, you see a home poking out from the trees- think that was the place that we lived- if not it was nearby. Every day we walked from that house down the street past the church, across Main Street (running horizontally) and down High Street (going into the bottom of the photo) towards the school which is just out of sight. Even though we lived here the shortest time, it was the site of the greatest memories of my life- you felt a part of history living here- all the homes were hundreds of years old and many of the families had lived here hundreds of years too. I loved going to the library here- it was right next to the house on southwest corner- that was the parsonage for the church. My best friend Randy dreamed of growing up and becoming the pastor of the church so he could live in the house- he wanted me to marry him so that would have been my house too- it was a nice dream. He died that fall and we had to move shortly after- but the time with Randy was the last with a playmate where the play was easy and fun for many years. His love was strong and absolutely unconditional- and I think that his example was a major contribution to my character.

The school there was the smallest that I ever attended- there was just one room for each grade. That was the last year that the school was able to be used like that because new people were moving into the area all the time and that last year the classrooms were packed tight. As you can see the place was packed with trees- so the fall was beautiful here. Halloween was great- there was a fair at the church earlier in the month- all the families made packets of goodies in bags (just 6 years later that ended in the US forever with the fears that goodies were laced with drugs)- and then there was a costume contest and party at the school. The Lieblers did well that year- Bill was the devil and Susan was a fairy- both won prizes.

I remember terrifying my Mom when we decided to set up a business selling silver acorns- we found the silver paint that they used to paint the water tower nearby- and our hands and clothes were covered with the silver paint- she was convinced it would be fatal- but we got the paint off quickly and all survived- guess the clothes were goners. Mom was horrified that we were going door to door trying to make money- and she forbid us to ever do such a thing again. Who knows what entrepreneurial dreams were killed with her horror? Bill found ways to try it again and again- so for some people those dreams die hard. Wonderful photo- wonderful memories!

Dancing in the Garden

2011-05-27T08:58:00.000-04:00

All season long as Kristie Alley was Dancing with the Stars, I thought of how much we were alike- about the same age, lots of potential, weight to lose, etc. As I saw her transformation, I wanted it to. So... thinking about starting to dance- can't do it as much or as intense as she did it- just enough to include dancing in my 60th birthday celebration! It's a ways off yet, but the weight is coming off on schedule- and I'm looking forward to being my new size just a few months before. Remember- I said that the sixties would be the sensational sixties- so have to get it off to a sensational start! Yesterday- down 14 pounds in 20 days!

Morning Walk May 15

2011-05-23T05:55:00.002-04:00

Make a slideshow design

St. Paul's Lenten Concert

2011-04-12T06:11:00.001-04:00

It is one of the great privileges of my life thus far to have the opportunity to serve in the choir of St. Paul's Catholic Church in Tampa FL. One of the visions that God gave me when he was courting me more than 30 years ago was the concept of God's chandelier- that we are all bulbs in God's chandelier and each bulb is made to give off a certain amount of light- some brighter- some lesser- so that it does not pay to be proud if we give off a lot of light or to think that we have done enough if we burn as bright as some of our neighbors. If we are a 1000 watt bulb and only give off 100 watts- then the chandelier is off balance. But we need a lot of 5 and 10 watt bulbs to make a harmonious whole.

Here is a choir with many different lights but when all are together weave a harmonious whole. Every one who wants to come and wants to work as hard as they can- is eligible to join- but since we have the resources- and very talented leadership- very bright lights are attracted to this choir- as well as those who just do the best that they can. I love the music here.

Here is a link to a recording that one of our members made of our lenten concert. This is a rough program that I assembled from our order of music- neglected to get a real program.

1. Prelude: Were You There (flute/violin/cello/piano- the flute, violin, and cello came from the USF music department).
2. Father Forgive Us (St. Paul Adult Choir)
3. Open My Eyes/Amazing Grace (St. Paul Adult Choir)
4. Crown of Roses (St. Paul Schola/St. Paul Adult Choir)
5. Cup of Sorrow (St. Paul Adult Choir)
6. Woman at the Well (gospel reading)
7. Come to the Well (St. Paul Children's Choir/St. Paul Adult Choir)
8. Create in Me A Clean Heart (St. Paul Children's Choir)
9. Silent Tears (St. Paul Schola)
10. Ave Verum (St. Paul Schola)
11. Humble Cross (St. Paul Adult Choir)
12. Swing Low Sweet Chariot (flute/violin/cello/piano)
13. You Are Mine (St. Paul Adult Choir)
14. Jesus Remember Me (St. Paul Adult Choir with flute/violin/cello/piano)

If someone reading this knows how to make a CD that my Mom can listen too- please help me get this to her. One of the things that I really miss is not being able to share this gift with my Mom. Thanks a lot.

Why the Birther Arguments Are Illogical

2011-04-08T08:23:00.001-04:00

Here is the situation:
Barack Obama Sr. arrived in the United States in the fall of 1959 at the age of 23 to begin study at the University of Hawaii. He was in Project Airlift which was designed for African students who had been accepted for study in the US and who had funds for at least one year of study but did not have money for transportation to this country. The project was continually searching for funding and doing their best to meet the needs of the students they had brought to the United States. When he arrived in the US, he left behind a wife with one child and another on the way. He was the first African student at the university and I expect generated quite a bit of curiousity.

He met Ann Dunham the following fall. She was a young idealistic girl who had romantic dreams of the African people. Her parents appeared to travel all over the place looking for economic opportunity. By the end of her first semester in college, she found herself pregnant. In 1960, this was not a good thing. Women in her position were expected to do one of two things: get married or give the baby up for adoption. She was very liberal, but did not really have the means to do anything else. She dropped out of school at the end of the fall semester. She got married in Hawaii in February (thinking that Barack was divorced from his first wife). In Africa, this was OK. In the US, this was bigamy. Barack Sr. continued in his studies at the University of Hawaii. If I were Barack Sr- would I make it easier for the US government to find out the country where I was still married to my first wife?

Notes from my life: My son was born in August. I found out that I was pregnant right after Christmas, moved in with Rick between semesters, was planning to be married in February but cancelled at the last minute, and decided to move out by Memorial day due to threats of violence. I was in my own apartment by the first of July and Robert was born six weeks later. At the time I had moved in with Rick, I had known him for 12 months longer than Ann had known Barack. Is a scenario similar to this possible? I don't know- but the Wikipedia article states one of his children claims that he was abusive to his second American wife.

My question to the birthers is this: How did Ann and Obama Sr. get to Africa? Who paid for the trip? Do you have any evidence that Ann had a passport? Any evidence of a visa? Ever see her name on a passenger list from Honolulu to Africa? If Barack was in classes until June, then she would have been 7 months pregnant! Who leaves Honolulu with their great hospitals, idyllic weather, and her two caring parents to go to Africa where the conditions would be far less comfortable when they are 7 months pregnant? And why would Obama take his wife to Africa? He's got another wife there that he doesn't want her to find out about!

Ann has the baby in August in the Kapiolani Maternity and Gynecological Hospital in Honolulu. Like all newpapers, the Honolulu papers routinely get information about all births at local hospitals and print birth announcements. His birth was announced in both Honolulu newspapers as would be expected. One paper gives his address which is her parents address. His father was living at a different address at the time (see the link for the birth announcement). Was this possible? Well if I had family in Tampa in June 1988, I would have been living with them when Rob was born!

What happens next? Barack Sr. stays at the University of Hawaii and graduates in June 1962. To get enough credits to graduate in three years. you have to attend summer. Ann takes her 1 month old baby and goes to school at the University of Washington for a school year. By the time she gets home in June 1962, Barack Sr has already left Hawaii for a tour of the mainland before he starts Harvard in the fall! They never lived together again until their divorce.

All these things have been substantiated. All the birther claims have been debunked. Why does this continue to be an issue? It's only an issue because people can draw attention to themselves and away from real issues. Why do we need to know everything about every detail of the life of every public figure? Guess we don't have enough to think about- after all- there is no danger of radioactive fallout anywhere in the world- no peoples suffering from any earthquakes- no governments killing their people to stay in power- and the US government can't possibly shut down today because it is too polarized to agree on a budget! Come up with substantial solutions to any of these problems and maybe we should pay attention!

Donald Trump seems to believe that Barack Obama was born in Kenya. This link from Politifact.com gives some good evidence to debunk the myth. I know administrative records. As I say to students all the time- absence of complete administrative records does not indicate that an event did not happen- what constitutes proof is the presence of records- and there is a presence of records of an Hawaiian birth. Some people do not want to believe these records and think they are illogical. Find me a logical scenario on how they got to Africa backed up by the administrative records that would surely exist in such a case- or you have no case.

Pina Colada

2011-04-03T19:50:00.000-04:00

Just posting the link to Paula Deen's Pina Colada because I remembered it but forgot exactly where the recipe was posted. This is awesome- my absolute favorite pina colado- only difference is that I like it better with coconut rum rather than regular rum- although it is half strength- just love the coconut flavor! Wow- one sentence- I'm enjoying these now!

Well looking at this- I like mine version better. I take a small can of coconut cream, a regular can of coconut milk and a large can of crushed pineapple- add 1/2 cup rum or 1 cup coconut rum- put as much ice in the blender as you can and liquefy! Yum!

My next book to read

2011-03-28T08:20:00.000-04:00

A lot less drastic than changing my life forever, is the new book that the author is promoting. Have already put a hold request on this book in my local library. The whole idea that resiliency and coping can be learned is very exciting. Can you imagine all the pain and suffering that could be avoided if Victims Advocacy centers were equipped with these tools- not just to deal with the immediate emergencies- but to teach the skills and resiliencies that you need to focus the emotions and energies on positive growth! While all the events of the world seem to be leading us all to think that the world is getting worse and worse- things like this just make me feel like maybe the world is getting better and better.

Building Resilience

2011-03-27T09:02:00.001-04:00

Starting reading Trump's Think Like A Billionairre again (Trump: Think Like a Billionaire: Everything You Need to Know About Success, Real Estate, and Life). One of his recommendations was to read up on business and gave a list of periodicals that he liked. While looking to see how many of these were available for free on the internet, I remembered a few years back getting an ad for the Harvard Business Review which was too expensive, but I wondered if that was free on the Internet too- it was. Then what to my wondering eyes did appeat- but a Martin Seligman article on Building Resilience. I had to read that because the whole idea behind the concept of the Discipline of Self-Esteem is building resilience and overcoming the negative thoughts that come to you due to experiencing abuse- at least to me it is.

First page of the article was something so exciting that I couldn't even finish! They have a Master's degree in Positive Psychology at UPenn that you can attend while working full-time! The deadline for this year is April 1st and I have to find someone willing to pay for me to fly to Philadelphia 9-10 times and pay $40,000 in tuition- so maybe I'll think about it for next year- but wanted to pass the info along because maybe one of my readers might want to think about this too. They also have a program to teach teachers to train children to overcome/build resiliency to post-traumatic stress.

More to come on all of this as I do more research- exciting stuff.

Maybe I'm not thinking like a billionairre- but these are positive thoughts anyway...

Stations of the Cross for Children and other Faith Formation Lessons

2011-03-24T06:47:00.000-04:00

This year, I decided that life was too complicated to teach Faith Formation this year. As the year went on and my strength built up, I missed this activity. After all, for over 20 years, teaching Faith Formation has been a big part of my life. My favorite co-teacher Sandra and I had lunch a few months ago, and since then, I've been coming in whenever I have something to contribute. For Valentine's day was able to find The First ValentineThe First Valentine. For the lesson on the Miracles of Jesus found this wonderful movie, Jesus The Miracle Worker. This video is too long for one lesson, but we selected scenes and so far, have been able to use it for three different classes (The Miracles of Jesus, The Baptism of Jesus and The Temptation in the Desert, and in a few weeks- Holy Week and Easter). I will also be there for the lesson on the Rosary. But this week, we did a lesson on the Stations of the Cross for our lesson on Reconciliation and Healing.

We started out with the analogy of reconciliation with a friend with whom we've been fighting and how the stages of making up are just like the sacrament of reconciliation. We tied this to the Stations of the Cross because it helps us to understand how much Jesus loves us and wants us to be with him. For this I found a couple of links that are really great if you want to do a stations with your children: This site for the text and this site for simple colorful pictures.

As we went through these stations, the simple instruction to let Jesus look into your heart as you go through all the situations in life that are like Jesus' walk (you'd be surprised at how many there are) was very compelling- and affected me deeply. I was also very surprised at how easily this activity gave us a simple segway into the lesson on the Last Rites because all that reflecting on letting Jesus into our hearts gave us a very good illustration on why we wanted to let Jesus be with us as we faced some of life's most difficult challenges- serious illness and death.
Another important component of this lesson was the Stations of the Cross coloring wheel that I found at Oriental Trading Company- the exact product does not appear to still be active- but I've found a lot of really great products that enriched lessons there.

Though it may seem like all this fun distracts from the real lessons- but the truth is that the opposite is true- making the lessons more fun, makes the lesson clearer and more memorable. But the important thing is the lessons that I learn every time I plan another lesson. This week I learned to let Jesus into my heart, no matter what I am facing- and I think that is a very important component of the Discipline of Self-Esteem.

A new outlook

2011-03-23T07:52:00.001-04:00

Well didn't win the books, but did go to the library on Sunday and picked up the book-. Loved the way she put things together- reminds me of when I was younger and didn't have the money to decorate. Going to try to read a little of this book every day- and tell you how this new outlook is changing my life.

For the past few days really working on applying the Discipline of Self-Esteem to my life- wearing makeup and moisturizing every day since my last trip to see Deana. Am feeling more energy- or is that left over from my last book-Crazy Sexy Diet: Eat Your Veggies, Ignite Your Spark, and Live Like You Mean It! From that I started eating vegetarian as much as possible- but I do love my meat and potatoes.

Here's a link I followed from Tracy Porter's blog- dreaming of lavender (Clairmont Farms)- is that being unfaithful to roses?

Also loving this blog about living off the grid in Texas- The Field Laboratory - which lead me to seek out ways to find bare land- google lead me to Land and Farm- and now I'm dreaming about farms...

Giveaway day 5 signed books a whole lotta love

2011-03-20T10:17:00.001-04:00

Giveaway day 5 signed books a whole lotta love

Love Tracy Porter- so when I saw this giveaway- I said "I want this!" My thought was that with these books, I could get the look on my own! One way to enter the giveaway was to post this link on my blog- so here goes! This giveaway ends mid-night Monday March 21st.

The Truth About Trickle Down

2011-02-25T06:47:00.000-05:00

One of the lies that we've all been told is that we need to cut taxes to encourage the economy. It's all part of the theory of trickle down economics. The theory states that if the tax rate is low, then the people with the money will be encouraged to invest and there will be more jobs and higher pay for the rest of us. That's the theory. So in the 30 years since trickle down economics has been dominating the policy in Washington, what has been happening? This story from Mother Jones has some very interesting charts and graphs that tell the story. While we think that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer- the rich are getting richer than we think they are. It also has links to all the source data (which I will check out and analyze- report back later).
The latest jab in the never ending tale of lawmakers desire to not increase the taxes on the rich is to start decreasing the benefits of government workers. Somehow they think that decreasing benefits is not decreasing salary. State employees do not live off the fat of the land- they live off the lean. Most are motivated by a desire to do good for the world- so they take lower salaries in the present but do enjoy more benefits than most workers- security is the name of the game. Now that a whole generation has spent the last 30 years working for their pension, governments are trying to strip as much of it as possible to avoid raising taxes on the rich. We must stand firm for those who have spent their lives working for us (in the interest of fairness, I must admit that I am one of those workers). And now there is a growing trend to try to take collective bargaining rights too!
Many people are now starting to demonstrate. Many more must follow. We must make our voices heard: Take money from the rich- give to the poor!
Some say that will cause the rich to export jobs. I say let the peoples of the world unite firm to demand a US-2011 equivalent $10-hr minimum wage! I say that any country that does business (imports goods) to this country needs to pay US income tax on the portion of their profits that come from selling goods in the US. How to enforce it? Do not allow imports for companies that have not filed an income tax statement. Do not allow imports from companies that do not meet US standards not only for product safety- but for the care and welfare of their workers.
Another thing we can do? Not spend money on things that we don't need. Make things ourselves. Grow our own food. Make our own energy from the sun and the wind and the thermal energy in the ground. Don't consume. People might think that will cause more hardship for the poor- that it will kill jobs. Well take the money that you save doing these things- and start your own business! Who says all the investment needs to come from the bottom? Who says all the spending needs to come from the bottom? Maybe we need to think about ways to change the world- one person at a time.

Prayer for the People of Libya

2011-02-22T07:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Lord- please help the people of Libya- hold them in the shadow of your wings. Help the armed forces and police have the courage to defy their orders to kill their people. Give the people courage and faith- let as few lives as possible be lost. Give the people the right to vote- and as always let your will be done. Thank you for your love and letting the oppressed people of the world know the truth that has given them the desire for freedom. Let this help the whole world. Let this bring a century of stability, peace, and partnership among the freedom loving peoples of this world. Amen.

Good Day for Bird Watching

2010-10-24T19:26:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was such an incredibly beautiful day that Rob and I decided to go out for a long walk in the woods. We have a great park nearby- Lettuce Lake- with a boardwalk that has been a healing place for us since Rob was 2 years old. In the days after we left his Dad, we were often out there as soon as the park opened watching the roseate spoonbills , great blue herons, and snowy egrets wading in the river. It is not that usual to see these birds when there are a lot of people in the park- but very early in the morning or late on a weekday- you can see God's glory in the birds just being themselves along the banks of the Hillsborough.
But yesterday was such a great day that not even the crowds and the screaming kids scared the birds into hiding. I even saw two that we've never seen before- the anhinga and the limpkins which seem like ordinary large birds but have very distinctive spots that I don't remember seeing before. There are now bird posters along the boardwalk with the names of some of the rarer birds- and one of these told us that thelimpkins are now being seen more since the species of snails that they love have become established at the park. Don't think that I would normally have seen the anhinga- it was so far away under a tree with it's wings spread out- awesome- but if I hadn't seen it moving into position, I would have thought that it was just a branch in the distance...

All I can say is that when you are at a park where you've been going for about 20 years and see two new striking birds, it's a good day. Wish I had pictures but my camera is lost- but I'm getting a new (very inexpensive one from Avon)- so I'll see if I can get some next weekend.

Found my theme painting

2010-10-23T09:16:00.000-04:00

I won't tell you the strange logic that got me to this site.
I will just tell you that when I saw the image called "Brainstorm" here, that I felt that I had found the painting that described my Garden of Roses perfectly- and if I had all the money in the world- it would be hanging in my living room! But since I do not, I'll just post a link however temporary so you all can see it!

You can see it better here but there is no direct link- go to image #4.

Three poems

2010-10-23T08:42:00.001-04:00

I've written three poems in my life that expressed how I was feeling at the time.
The first was when I was ten- six months before my sister Barbara was born.
Life was tough at home. My Mom was pretty withdrawn most of the time. My Dad was either working or sleeping. My sisters and brothers were always off playing- the kids in school told me that I had cooties and I lived in a world of my own where life was much better. One day I was riding home from school looking out the window and seeing vast countryside where God had done his handiwork and feeling a sense of peace and completeness- then passing by homes and property that left me cold- wondering why we ever chopped down he wilderness to build society- thought that it was incredibly stupid- only way that I could express it was in a poem:

Those stupid beings- human beings- it's a wonder they're alive.
Those stupid beings- human beings- how do they survive?

My sister Susan found that one day and decided that I was definitely crazy- and that was a distinct possibility at that moment.

The babies saved me. Six months after this poem, Barbara was born. She was so beautiful and little. She needed so much. Every time you held her, you felt whole. Every time you held her- you healed. I spent my life telling everyone who would listen (random adults at the park)- all the stories about how wonderful this child was- how smart- how inventive- how creative. Then Beth came along. I pretty much ignored Beth until she was three months old. After all, Barbara was the most wonderful child in the world.

But then one day, when Beth had been screaming for hours, my Mom gave up and told me that I needed to take the baby. I picked her up and she stopped crying. I had to do my homework- so I read her my history book- and she absolutely loved it. She loved everything about my homework. She loved watching the doodles when I did my math- she was a part of everything that I did that afternoon- and that evening after supper- for the first time in her life- she didn't have any colic. And I had a purpose in life.

For the next 4 years, every minute I was home was time that I spent with Beth and/or Barbara. It was my happy time. People who saw me in school and saw me with the babies could not believe that I was the same person. People in the park did not believe that she was not my child- the physical similarity was so profound and she looked at me as if I was her Mom- that look of total trust and bonding that is so special and so important. For those four years, it was my mission in life to protect this little bundle from all the horror going on around us- to make her feel as loved and special as she made me feel. But there always was the knowledge and realization that I had to grow up and leave home- and that she had to stay. These babies made me identify with the human race.

But at school- we had moved to Franklin- I was no longer the butt of jokes or knew anyone who had the memory of my being the butt of jokes- but teachers were a problem. No one liked that I passed all the tests but never did any homework, Mom was working by then. It is hard doing homework when you come home, take care of 6 brothers and sisters, make supper, clean the house, make sure that your Dad goes to his room and doesn't cause any trouble, do the dishes and the laundry and get around to doing your homework after the babies go to sleep. By then- you are ready to go to sleep. Luckily I could wake up around 5 AM and get some time in before the rest of the family woke up- and there was always the bus on the way to school. We had a long-term assignment in English class. I took off from school for three days to finish it and ended up passing it in late when I got back. Didn't really fool anyone- my teacher knew what I did- so I got an F on the paper. So this is the poem I wrote to get back at her:

Why Mr. World do you shut your gates- shut your gates smack in my face!
I now long to be back at home to be- at home in my Garden of Roses.
The roses have thorns, but then life does too- and roses hurt only my fingers.
The thorn of life drives through my heart- but not in my Garden of Roses.

Fast forward 25 years. I've lived a lot, won a lot, lost a lot. All eight of the close encounters with death have occurred. God has met me, lead me through the darkness, and I am a new person. I decide that the only thing that makes sense is to become an Episcopal priest- which turned out to be something that was beyond my reach- obedience is something I just can't manage- I have to be free to follow my own destiny my own way. As I find my journey being blocked- as I feel my soul starting to feel trapped, I write my third poem. It's still from the perspective of outside looking in. It's still trying to figure out life. And as I get to the last two lines- I don't know what to write- say a prayer- and get the last two lines- which I still don't completely understand but has given me a mission in life.

The soul is a wonder child.
It needs to be able to carry prayers to and from God.
It needs to be able to sense and feel and wonder and discover,
To release the wonder of it's potential on Earth.

We live in a world full of animals.
Full of greed and lust and self-satisfaction.
Full of taking and leaving and disappointing.
Devoid of responsibilities on Earth.

Society is a great policeman.
Full of laws, and rules, and internal regulations.
Full of put downs, push downs, and pull downs.
Devoid of the wonder of the Earth.

How do we chain the animal and not the soul?
How do we allow the wonder to be released without the anger?
We must learn the Discipline of Self-Esteem.
Releasing the Power of God on the Earth.

Before I get started on writing the rest of my life story, think that I should finally write- one day at a time- the Sunday School lessons that God gave me when I did Children's Church in Lent Cycle A. But tomorrow will be another day and we'll see what I write then!

People are writing a lot about how no matter how bleak life seems when you are a kid, that it gets better. It's not just true for teens who find that they are gay- it's true for all children caught in a world that is tough. It gets better. Even though I'm facing retirement, I still hope that some day there will be a day when I get married and spend the rest of my life with one special person. I still hope for a lovely home and perfect contentment. I still look for that home on the water and a garden full of green and growing things. And I know that no matter what challenges I face today- no matter how insurmountable things seem- life will get better- life always gets better.<

Starting Out Again

2010-10-23T07:35:00.000-04:00

I do not know why I'm alive.
For some people, that would be an existential question- but for me, it is simply unbelievable.
Four times in my life, I was hit by a car- two of them hard enough to throw me quite a distance- and came away with a few scratches and bruises- but no lasting damage.
Four times in my life, a man stood in front of me with the means and the desire to kill me- but by some miracle- each time the attempt was unsuccessful.
Guess I've used up my nine lives.
For a long time, I believed that I was to do something great for the world- so I looked for my destiny.
Those times that I was progressing towards some type of destiny were the times that I was less alive- more on fire with the idea and mission of destiny- but much further from being a human being. My guess is that may be something that a lot of people of destiny experience- and that may be why so many of them end up the way that they become.
Some may think that I'm alive to be a data analyst. I'm a very good data analyst. Lots of people depend upon me. But I don't believe that God would save a person from death that many times, so that I can do data analyses for other people's research- no matter how much good that it does for society.
Somewhere along the line, I began to be helped reading the inspirational stories of others. I always knew that I had a story to tell. I have always had the need to tell it. And as time goes on, I believe more and more that the reason that I'm STILL alive- is that God wants me to tell my story. I don't think my life will be over once I tell it- think that after it has been told- there will always be more to tell- and always be ways to see healing.
I've been with behavioral researchers all my life. I know all the risk factors for all kinds of anti-social diseases. If that was the whole story then instead of being a mild mannered single Mom who teaches Sunday School and has a career that does good for society- I would have killed my Dad at the age of ten- then gone on to become an alcoholic and living a life of crime- if not worse. Now we know that is not the whole story. It is not just risk factors. It is risk and resiliency. Resiliency is important- and no matter what happens in your life- resiliency is something that you can create for yourself after becoming an adult.
The last paragraph that I wrote for the Christmas pageant that I put together last year tells it all.
After we saw the whole Bible story from creation to the birth of Christ, we heard:

This is the beginning of the story of our faith: People believing in God. God keeping his promises. Saints overcoming great adversity. All part of God’s plan. God’s journey continues with us today. It is God’s plan for all of us to keep growing with the Saints- growing in our faith more and more everyday.

So I hope to keep telling my story here day after day- from the beginning- roses of resiliency and weeds of risk- trying to nurture the roses and help you grow the roses too.

Quick Homemade Ranch Dressing or Pesto Mayonnaise

2010-10-12T06:43:00.001-04:00

This is the latest in my quest to discover the secrets to replacing my favorite processed foods with foods made with raw ingredients. All the ranch dressing recipes start with mayonnaise- but in this one- I started with eggs and oil. Starting with eggs and oil in the blender actually helps- while you are blending together the eggs and the oil to make mayonnaise- you might as well throw in all the herbs and the garlic to save you the trouble of chopping them very fine for the ranch dressing. The mixture turns a lovely shade of green- but I kind of like that.

Start with:
1 egg
2 tablespoons vinegar
1 cup oil (I used corn oil- find that olive oil is a little bitter)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 or 2 cloves of garlic peeled
fresh parsley (mine died so I bought these- put them in a glass of water in the refrigerator)
fresh chives (these are from the garden)

To make ranch dressing add:
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 to 1/2 cup buttermilk
could also add more of your favorite fresh herbs, paprika,mustard, or Worcestershire or hot sauce- make it your own- make it different every time.

Place the egg, the vinegar, 1/4 cup of the oil, and all your herbs and spices in the blender. I rough cut about 1/4 cup of my parsley, about 1/8 cup of my chives, and smashed garlic cloves. Blend until all the herbs and spices are pulverized and the oil has started to congeal. Then still blending, slowly add the remaining oil in a steady stream- not so fast that the oil starts to accumulate- not so slow that your hand hurts (should be done in about 15-30 seconds)- you've just made an herbed pesto mayonnaise!

To this add enough buttermilk to get a pourable consistency and a nice ranch taste- then add the sour cream.
This is yummy- but your blender is a mess. Now you've made a ranch dressing!

To clean:
Get out all the dressing you can with pouring and a rubber spatula- then fill the blender about halfway up with hot tap water and a few drops of dish detergent- and blend away- the pour this liquid down the sink. This step makes the blender much easier to clean.

Hope you enjoy!

The value of an inspirational song

2010-09-13T07:51:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I rediscovered a song that inspired me long ago. It is "She" from the track of Notting Hill (scene 17). For some reason, I can go back to that track over and over again- and when I do- I feel better about life, the universe, and everything. I imagine that I am loved like the character that Julia Roberts is playing and am able to smile with that kind of deep inner beauty. I am at that wedding (although that is NOT my dress), but that large extended group of family and friends is mine- it is me getting out at the red carpet and being cheered- it is me sitting on that bench utterly content. It might be a case of re-programming my unconscious mind but it is really effective in getting my day off to a great start!

Circle of Prayer at the World Trade Center site

2010-08-27T05:33:00.000-04:00

As I have been hearing about the mosque controversy at the World Trade Center site, and hearing about the Greek Orthodox church having trouble rebuilding, all I can think is that we need to have as many churches at this place as humanly possible. We need a mosque, a synagogue, a cathedral or two- we need churches from every religious faith- as many as we can fit into that space around the new center- representing as many different traditions and cultures of national origin. We need people from all over the world coming here to pray and remember. Once we do that- it won't matter if there is or is not a mosque- it will be the right place to be. IMHO, nothing could defeat the terrorists more.

Gardening Tip: Automatic watering

2010-06-23T06:55:00.000-04:00

As summer drew in to Tampa, it looked like my garden was going to bake to death again. Then I noted that a lot of the plants were drying out during the day. Heard about an expensive container gardening device that used the principle of wicking from the bottom. Thought that was cool- so became obsessed with the idea of wicking. Looked up wicking on the web- and got a lot of very complicated hydroponic links. However, I discovered a very simple technique that I have been using for weeks and has saved my garden. I simply take a canning jar (2 cups is enough for even a large planter box)- then take a piece of bulky yarn- cut it about a yard- fill my jar- get the yarn wet- then insert one end of the yarn into my planter box. For large plants- I put the bottle on top of the plant- for smaller ones I run several lines out to different plants- plants drink more when the container is above the roots. All plants are healthy and the tomatoes that were dying are growing new green tops! Plants are drinking more water than they can use- indoors this presents a problem- so I am learning how high the water needs to be in the container for them each day to keep them healthy without overflowing the drainage pans. Outdoors, I keep those ball jar lids on the top to keep mosquitoes from laying eggs in them. So far it has been a few weeks and things are going well- best summer so far for my plants...

Animal Kingdom Trip June 2010

2010-06-06T01:34:00.001-04:00

My son Rob and I have a pact to go to Disney World with our passes once a month when it's not black out season. So far, we been three times since December- which is about half what we promised but still worth the price of the pass so far. This week we went to Animal Kingdom. Here is the ultimate shot in the park- of the big ride The Everest Experience.

I'm doing a VBS called Baobab Blast in about a week, so thought I'd get some pictures of African animals.

Here's a hippo poking his head up out of the water...

And some more hippos.

A rhinoceros family- mostly hidden in the trees.

A little better image of the baby.

African cattle.

Nice gorilla shot. But the Mom and baby picture were lost..

Then on to Asia. A tapir that didn't want to be seen...

A nice kimodo dragon.

Tigers are always nice.

But this one is nicer...

And last but not least a really nice Asian cow- or should I say bull?
Really enjoying my camera. Think I might try to get some more Africa at Busch Gardens or Lowry Park sometime during the week.

Great Idea: Do It Yourself Aprons!

2010-06-02T06:29:00.000-04:00

Just found this great blog Do It Yourself Aprons! Mind is exploding with the possibilities! Perfect for my Stone Lake Dreaming! Think that my niece Bethany might absolutely love this! She makes such lovely things and takes after the creative homemaker side of the family.

Corn Tortillas

2010-06-01T06:55:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Pioneer Woman posted a note about making flour tortillas. To which my darling son said:
"What about corn tortillas?" and "baking powder?".
Here is information on making corn tortillas.
Any one know why they put baking powder in flat bread?
More later when we try to make corn tortillas without a press using our new favorite rolling pin- a beer bottle.

The Beginning

2010-05-28T08:05:00.000-04:00

The Lieblers in Glastonbury went back a long way. That was something that my father always wanted to impress upon us. They may have gone back even further. My great-grandmother Mary Frances Burnham claimed some native American ancestry and the pet name that my Dad had for his brood was "A Band of Little Mohicans". The question that I have- was that Mohawk Mohicans or a mispronunciation of Mohegans- the tribe that occupied that shores of the Connecticut River in Glastonbury. We look more like Mohegans than Mohawks. Then there are the Mahicans who are also called the Mohicans but they never lived in any of the areas that I heard the Burnhams lived. There was also a story of how his ancestors had come from Massachusetts to Connecticut along the old Boston Post Road- my Mom shared that history. He thought that his ancestors might have been with Thomas Hooker- but Mom claimed ancestry with someone who was a direct descendant of Thomas Hooker- so the roots in CT went pretty deep. And it was true when we drove along the old Boston Post Road it always felt like we had trod those steps. Dad didn't really care about genealogy- what he cared about was that the land in Glastonbury along the Connecticut river was his and outs and belonged to us not only by deed but by ancestral right.

Healing Pain: The Prince and Princess of the Universe Meet

2010-05-25T07:17:00.000-04:00

Decided to call the bad memories blog: Healing Pain because that is what I hope to accomplish through writing this. Was going to start at the start of my life- but here I am starting at the beginning of Medway (Quiet New England Town or QNET) because that's where my memories are at this moment. Today's entry was a happy memory but painful because of how it ended. Did manage a good cry and surprised at the thoughts about reincarnation- but somehow it makes some sense today.

Recovery: Good day for recovery

2010-05-24T06:20:00.002-04:00

Stone Lake Dreams: Designing the first hand-made rug for my cabin

2010-05-23T07:37:00.000-04:00

Other relevant links:
Facebook page for The Purple Kitty- has vintage crochet patterns.
Amazon link for Cross-Stitch Patterns in Color

White Dresses: Fairy Queen Gown

2010-05-22T07:45:00.000-04:00

Here is a link to links with a fantasy gown for all those who literally dream of a fairy wedding.

Plans for the blog(s)

2010-05-22T06:47:00.000-04:00

The Pioneer Woman really has me inspired. I love her layout, the tabs, the way that she keeps all the separate trains of thought moving. One of the strange things about this blog is that I never know what to write about- my mind is always traveling in so many different directions. Someone once called me a splatter brain and told me that this was not good- but I embrace it! One of my most unique traits is the ability to think of five different things at the same time, and without that ability, the world would be a more boring place- for everyone. With Blogger you can't tab (you'll thank me for this!) but you can have as many blogs as you want (and if that is NOT true- you'll here it first as I test the limit with ten!). Right now I have three.

This will be my NEWS blog and the central one where all the links to all the blogs get posted.
Already have a FAITH FORMATION blog where I post things of relevance to my various faith formation activities. Won't post things like home work assignments etc here- but will post my Faith Formation ideas that might be of interest to the general public.

Will reopen Mary Rose's Garden and limit that to things related to my RECOVERY journey. Recovery will involve my journey to lose weight, get fit, de-clutter, become frugal, develop spirituality, post my prayers for the world, and deal with my suppressed anger issues. Was really impressed with recent Ruby episodes where one of her therapists told her that suppressed anger was one of the things that get in the way of weight loss. I'm not that big- need to lose 100 lbs to get down to high school graduation weight- some say that I need to lose as little as 50 lbs to get to a healthy weight- Weight Watchers minimum goal weight would be another 75 lbs. Guess that I'm carrying around my inner child rather than expressing her.

New blogs will focus on:
Abuse memories: These are memories of violence in my family of origin and in the family I created with Rick. I'm going to follow Pioneer Woman's convention and make up cute initial names for everyone- think that will make it easier. I'm going to be PU (for Princess of the Universe). We're going to try to see where Jesus was in every bad chapter in my life- so don't click here if things like that get you down or if religion offends you. Hoping that blogging will help me process these things and help others who might need to do likewise in their lives.

Happy memories: These will be the stories of my childhood that my nieces and nephews will enjoy- give them a glimpse of their parents growing up.

Ancestors: These will be stories that I dig up about about our ancestors and/or the places that they lived or visited (those we can confirm and those in our oral history)- will tag them as confirmed or unconfirmed when I post.

Stone Lake Dream Related:
Cooking: These will be step by step with pictures of the recipes that I dig up or re-create that will definitely be in the menu for my Inn from time to time. Enjoy.

White Dresses: These will be pictures of beautiful white dresses that fit into the kind of celebrations that I would like to have in my inn. At first they will be pictures of dresses or notions or lace patterns. Someday, they will be items that I have created.

Christmas Shoppe. These will be pictures of things that I would like to have in my Christmas Shoppe- some finished items, some vintage patterns for things that I'd like to make, some things that I have made.

Stone Lake Dreams: These will be research related to other components of my Stone Lake Dreams- like log cabin construction, green house constructions, glass woodland chapels, natural heating of greenhouses, plants and furnishings that I'd like to have, etc.

Famous last words: All posts in all blogs will be really short as I attempt to limit my blogging time to 15 minutes per day- and to blog something every day in one of the blogs. Wish me luck!

Stone Lake Dreaming: The Conclusion

2010-05-21T08:30:00.000-04:00

As I was putting all these dreams together, I found myself contemplating following in my brother's footsteps when it came time to retire- little less than 4 years from now. Plan is to buy a few acres of land, build a log cabin that got bigger every chance it got. Make connections- turn it into a bed and breakfast- plan events- make white dresses- open a Christmas shop year round. Things I can do now: discover the menu, the look, learn something about inn-keeping- research into the best energy alternatives- blog about becoming a back woods woman. Then I came upon The Pioneer Woman and absolutely fell in love with her blog. She is a modern day woman who fell in love with a Marlboro Man type and moved out into the boonies where she feels like a pioneer woman. Not that she is- she moved into a farm that was in MM's family for generations with a house already built- but the isolation- the sense of community- the need to work the land- getting back to foods made from real ingredients- they are pioneer-like. My sister-in-law Leslie is more like a pioneer woman though. She crossed the country on foot with my brother- gave birth to 4 children- graduated to old truck with a camper built from plywood when Opal was born (I know- I saw it in Gainesville)- then finally ended up in Stone Lake- built their own log cabin, greenhouses, and Rollingwood Nursery over 20 years ago. Some people thought he was running away from the world- but now he has a life that any man can envy- and it is all due to his own hard work with the help of his pioneer woman and his four beautiful daughters. Their family is beautiful inside and out and passing on the love of all good things to the next generation. Think all our ancestors would be proud.

So now I have a new direction for my blog and I start out on my 4 year journey to Stone Lake. We'll be cooking, and sewing, baking cakes, learning how to survive and generally getting my act together as we go along on this journey together. Thanks for starting out with me!

My Favorite Things

2010-05-20T07:39:00.001-04:00

When I was 12 years old, my Mom bought the sheet music for The Sound of Music- and the songs were added to my life! My favorite was "My favorite things". Been reflecting all week on the fact that- these really ARE a few of my favorite things!

Rain on roses- my theme flower!
Whiskers on kittens- my favorite pets!
Bright Copper Kettles- my favorite hangout after work with my buddies at Cushing Hospital- got to remember to find some of them on Facebook!
Warm woolen mittens- if you have to be cold- you have to have mittens!
Brown paper packages tied up with strings- think of the crafting possibilities- and I keep the UPS guy in business!
Girls in white dresses- been reflecting upon white dresses lately. I love angel costumes, baptismal dresses, communion dresses and wedding dresses. I do very fine cross-stitch, crochet lace, and can sew. It falls in line with my Stone Lake dreams- can make very simple, very old-fashioned, very lovely all cotton dresses for those special occasions when just not any old dress will do! Made my own wedding dress out of white eyelet with a cotton lace trim accented by baby pink roses. (More later).

Later!
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes- age 18- Frank told me that snowflakes on my eyelashes was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen- and I was instantly in love! Not to be- he put me on a pedestal and I wouldn't let him put me on his motorcycle- the end of a fairy tale. Still get goosebumps.

Silver white winters that melt into springs. Thing that I miss most while living in Florida is that melting of the winter and the emerging of the spring. The pale green of the leaves coming out- the soft rain- then a cascade of spring colors- like a fantasy!

These are a few of my favorite things.

Stone Lake Dreaming Part IV

2010-05-19T05:56:00.000-04:00

My favorite thing to do on vacation is to plan an event. I love to be among lots of people and see everyone having a good time. My favorite events are the "white dress" events: christenings, communions, confirmations and weddings. I love Christmas pageants with lots of angels and princesses. I would love to go to lots of events where women dress up in beautiful flowing gowns with lots of special touches- and have all those events be in an enchanted forest! I love beautiful cakes, beautiful tables, glistening glasses, and music. Lots and lots of music. Some people go to far away and romantic places on vacation. I go to VBS (vacation Bible school). At VBS, kids have lots of fun, lots of laughs, do lots of crafts, eat fun stuff- and when it is all done- we put on a show. The shows are the best part- because all the children get to show off their talents and when all is said and done- we have a party! Watching hoards of children having the time of their lives is the happiest thing on earth to me.
-
Some time ago, I figured out that all meant that I had a vocation as an event planner- but this is getting refined- I want to plan "white dress" events in an enchanted forest. I want to live in a log cabin in the woods surrounded by woodland flowers, trees, and shimmering water. I want to have a clear glass and wood chapel in the woods where all year round their is beauty and joy inside but deep quiet and serene beauty outside. I want to be around happy children growing straight and tall. I want to live in the clean, fresh air and bring joy to the earth. I want to live in Mary Rose's Garden.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to do it with no money. (More later)

Stone Lake Dreaming Part III

2010-05-18T06:42:00.000-04:00

The thing about Stone Lake is that it is COLD. I do not like being cold. Cold is bad. Cold is uncomfortable. Cold is something I avoid. I run a space heater and wear a suit jacket or sweater in my office in Florida in the summer time because the air conditioning is too cold. I don't have air conditioning in my car. When I was living alone, I had the thermostat set so that the air would not kick in until it hit 85 degrees. Weather.com reports that Stone Lake gets highs above 60 in only 5 months of the year and gets freezing weather 7 months out of the year. There are even months when the HIGH is below freezing- BRRRR! This is the kicker- it snows in May!!

Surprisingly, I do like snow. Haven't seen real snow in years (because you have to get cold to see snow!)- but I love the look of snow and ice. I can spend hours looking OUTSIDE at the beauty of snow and ice with the sun dancing on the surface- but actually BE in snow? Not for me!

Then Opal told me something that changed my view of Stone Lake FOREVER! Bill and Leslie built greenhouses and these greenhouses are WARM- even in the dead of winter! The snow can be a mile deep outside- but inside working- you need to wear shorts and tank tops- and you are sweating! HOORAY!! My kind of place in the winter. Of course, their greenhouse is very utilitarian. I want one that is beautiful- all thermal proof glass and wood. I want to sit in my greenhouse- have it heat my home- and watch the snow outside. Now if I could just get the heat to melt the snow and ice on the walkways, we'd be all set. Greenhouses definitely change the picture. (more later)

Stone Lake Dreaming Part II

2010-05-17T05:38:00.000-04:00

Opal's pictures of Stone Lake take me back to my childhood dreams. When I was a child, Mary Rose's garden was my fantasy world. I lived more in that world than in reality. One of my favorite books was the Little House on the Prairie series I fell in love with the farm in Little House in the Big Woods and always felt that the Ingalls family lost a lot when they moved to Kansas. One of my favorite things about the cabin at Stone Lake is the great big family dinners that I imagine happen there during the holidays. They remind me of the dinners that we had at the Elvingtons when I was a little girl growing up. I remember setting the table at the Elvingtons and dreaming when it would be my own dining room. The linen, the china, the fine furniture, silver and crystal were all great and it was a wonderful satisfaction when all was in place and ready. But all that would mean nothing if it weren't for the dozen or more people at the table. My favorite meal at the Elvingtons was when all of Ann's children and all of us got together and we had dinner for 25. Grandpa got a case of champagne and I had my first taste. It was awesome. So when I'm Stone Lake dreaming, I'm dreaming of a family holiday dinner... (still more later)

Stone Lake Dreaming Part I

2010-05-16T16:04:00.001-04:00

Years ago, my brother Bill set off on a journey and ended up building a log cabin and a permanent home for his family in this little out of the way place in the deep northwoods of Wisconsin called Stone Lake. When my brother Mike was so sick and went AWOL from the hospital one day, Bill, Mom, and I prayed Mike to Bill's place. My guess is that none of us ever thought that he would end up there- but he did. Mike left the hospital in CT, then walked across the country without eating or sleeping or stopping- then one day he was hungry and tired- so he wanted to find a direction to travel- looked up and saw the sign to Stone Lake. That was all that he needed to get there- and getting there was all that he needed to heal, get his family back together, and eventually move on. We need to cultivate the healing places in this world. Think that Stone Lake is one of those places.

At the time that Mike left, I was in graduate school at USF. While I was persuing my dreams, nothing would have ever let me leave Tampa. But then I left graduate school without my PhD- did not become the ground-breaking learning theorist to discover the roots of conditioned fear and anxiety- and instead became research support for other people. Whenever things have been tough in these last 25 years, I have told myself that anytime I wanted, I could just go to Stone Lake and do what Bill did- that anytime I wanted to run away I could...

A few years ago, I met my niece Opal on line. She is an incredible woman- much more than I ever was. She and her husband are two of the greatest parents on earth. The more I read Opal's blog- the more I want to travel to Stone Lake. (More Later)

First Communion Memories

2010-05-03T07:32:00.000-04:00

Today as I was singing at Mass and witnessing the First Communion class, I was remembering my own First Communion- 50 years ago this month! My guess is that for a lot of children, it comes automatically- first or second grade- you go to a few classes- do First Reconciliation- buy fancy clothes- and there you are! My own First Communion was a lot more difficult.

August 1958, my Mom takes me into the basement of the old St. Paul's church, we sit waiting on the benches to enroll in class and then we get quite a shock! I am asked to recite the Lord's Prayer- and have never heard of it! It's not that the family has a lack of devotion. Every night from birth, my Mom has had us pray and ended it with a Hail Mary. Every Sunday, we have gone to Mass (when Masses were in Latin) and sat in the crying room because Mom always had a new baby. But in all those 6 years, I have never heard the Our Father- and we hear that because I can't recite it, I can't make my first communion that year. My parents were so angry that we went to UConn for Mass for the next year. That year was not great. Dad lost his job in Hartford CT and finally found a job in Waltham, MA. Our parent declared bankruptcy and were unable to fulfill the $6000 promise that they had made to the new St. Paul building fund. Grandma Liebler paid it but refused to help us with our troubles because she was broke from paying our commitment to the church- so we went to war with Grandma. Then in the bankruptcy- she filed a claim against us for all the money we borrowed from her. That was the start of the feud between Grandma and Dad. We were losing our house. Mom lost the baby she was carrying and nearly died. I learned to swim in the air that day. At the end of that year, we left our ancestral home in Glastonbury CT, to begin a new life in Medway MA.

It was hard for my parents to get to church in Medway. In October, my mom tried to enroll my brother Bill and I in the First Communion class, but it had started already and we were way behind. We were put into a class by ourselves with Fr. Mara, as we tried to learn the Baltimore catechism which was just a card with a bunch of questions and answers. For some reason, we could not take ours home- so could only learn by sitting there by ourselves and try to memorize these strange verses. After a lot of absences, we were told that we could not make our First Communion if there were any more. We were OK- and then came February. In January, we were told that the home we were renting would not be available come February 1st- maybe it was the chimney fire in December! My best friend Randy died at the end of January- then we had to move. The only place we could find to rent was a second floor walk up just over the town line in Franklin MA. We were going to be allowed to finish out our year at West Medway elementary because we were within walking distance of the school- but then we either had to move again or change to Franklin schools. Within a few weeks of moving to Franklin, all 5 of us children under age 7 got the measles. When we were done with the measles, we got the chicken pox. When we were done with the chicken pox,the youngest child Michael, got measles encephalitis and we were told that he had a one in a million chance of getting through it without severe brain damage or death! But we got him to Boston Children's Hopital and the one in a million chance came through! He was OK- no brain damage.

And in the midst of all of this- on March 3, 1960- my Dad broke his leg. This was not a little thing. There was a huge spring snow storm. He was traveling home from work. There was someone stranded on the road. Dad stopped to help and being as strong as an ox, he picked up the car and removed it from the snow bank. Unfortunately, he slipped on some ice and the car fell on his leg. It was pretty much shattered. When they got to the hospital, the doctor on call, an obstetrician (who subsequently delivered Barbara and Beth) thought that Dad would lose his leg. But when he heard that he was the father of 5 children ages 7 and under, he knew that he would have to do everything in his power to save it. Somehow, with the grace of God, he did. But Dad could not work for 6 months. We lost our car.

It was in this context, that my Mom heard about the old Irish priest at St. Brendan's in Bellingham. He had a philosophy that all children should make their first communion- no matter what. So Bill and I started at St. Brendan and received our instruction from the most beautiful nun in the world- think her name was Sr. Mary Louise. She made an incredible impression upon me. She knew her stuff and was more kind and patient than any person I have met before or since. She made me feel very special- which was really necessary after all that I had been through in those two years. I like to think that she was my role model for teaching Faith Formation myself. She gave each and every one of us a scapular right after our first reconcilation and told us how to use it.

I'll never forget my First Communion. Mom was able to borrow a white dress and veil from somewhere. Bill got a new suit and white shoes. I got brand new shiny patent leathers. I remember feeling so special as we all went to the altar to recieve our Lord for the very first time. But then came something that I will absolutely never forget. After our communion, we all went back to the rectory where we had the best breakfast that I ever remember. Not only was there eggs and bacon AND cereal and bananas- there was also coffee milk and ice cream! The old priest wanted us to have a breakfast that was as close to a breakfast in heaven- and succeeded admirably. Bill and I went through a lot before we got to that day- but we had the best First Communion in the universe. Fifty years ago- seems like yesterday...

Mary Rose's Vegetable Garden: Week 8

2010-03-24T07:55:00.001-04:00

This is my full garden.

Eating my lettuce every day now.

Potatoes are just showing the tops of their heads- need to get a pot with the bottom drilled out for them to grow higher.

Tomatoes are getting bigger, a little leggy- might put them on the ground in front and add some trays of spinach to the tabletop.

Mary Rose's Vegetable Garden: Week 4

2010-02-12T08:43:00.000-05:00

Garden is still going strong. Need to turn the boxes every week or so because the plants tend to grow toward the sun and get lopsided. Using the parsley and oregano a lot. Tomatoes are really getting tall so will need to get some support this week. Lost both the yellow and red peppers due to cold but everything else seems to be very happy.

Unforgettable Rendition of the Lord's Prayer

2010-02-04T05:58:00.000-05:00

Close your eyes and listen to the very end.

Mary Rose's Vegetable Garden: Week 2

2010-01-30T16:24:00.002-05:00

The first week, the weather turned cold. Lost my yellow pepper the first cold night. But everything else is happy and doing fine- grew a lot the first week! Am enjoying the fresh herbs on my food this week.

Mary Rose's Vegetable Garden: A Reality

2010-01-24T19:36:00.000-05:00

This afternoon found myself at Lowe's and there in front of me were all these vegetables and herbs. Bought the following: patio tomatoes, roma tomatoes, green, red, and yellow bell peppers, jalepeno peppers, german thyme, rosemary, basil, greek oregano, mint, curled parsley, romaine and curly lettuce. Spent the afternoon setting up my table top garden and here is the first picture. Keep you in the loop. This is the time to grow veggies in Florida- feels like spring!!

Prayer for Haiti

2010-01-14T05:03:00.002-05:00

2009-12-28T06:57:00.001-05:00

Thought this post was one that it would be nice to share with family and friends:

New Years' Around the World

The Tablecloth

2009-12-18T08:18:00.002-05:00

Here's a Christmas Story from Elida:

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit,beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity, so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later..

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet. She asked, 'where did you get that tablecloth? '
The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria .

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten The Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria .

When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave.
Her husband was going to follow her the next week.
He was captured, sent to prison and she never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home. That was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn
for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike?

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid who says God does work in mysterious ways.
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today, to guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you. His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares we know He will see us through.

So when the road you're traveling seems difficult at best, just remember we're here praying and God will do the rest.

Here's the prayer attached:
God, bless all my friends and family in what ever it is that You know they may be needing this day! May their lives be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as they seek to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.

Announcing A New Blog

2009-12-09T05:23:00.002-05:00

Things are coming together.
Found out that maryrosesgarden.blogspot.com was available.
Found my camera that takes, audio, video, and stills.
Have discovered that if I want my own TV show, then I have all that I need to get started.

From now on- family stuff will stay here and Discipline of Self-Esteem things will go to the new blog. Think that family stories that I want the world to know (DOSE-related) will be posted both places.

Think that I'll set a launch date for the video blog of December 18th. That will give me a day or two to recover after Lessons and Carols and the Christmas pageant. Also think that I should have a schedule of topics- as Mary Rose's Garden is complex.

Let's see my real-life schedule:
Sunday: Singing in the Choir, usually see a movie in the afternoon.
Monday: My faith formation class.
Tuesday: nothing exciting
Wednesday: Choir practice
Thursday: Nothing exciting
Friday: Avon order goes in- dinner out- sometimes a movie in the evening
Saturday: Weight Watchers, walking, shopping

So my blog schedule should be something like:
Sunday AM: Fitness journey
Monday AM: Fun things to do with your family- sometimes movie reviews
Tuesday AM: Weekly meditation
Wednesday AM: Life in Temple Terrace
Thursday AM: Prayers for the World
Friday AM: Most inspiring advice this week
Saturday AM: Most exciting thing learned this week

However, as this is around Christmas, and Christmas is a time when I do a lot of things- most of this will revolve around Christmas in the beginning.

See you soon!

HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Country Casual

2009-12-03T12:32:00.001-05:00

HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Country Casual

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Thinking Big

2009-12-01T07:25:00.002-05:00

Here's an intriguing question: What would happen to your life if you really and truly believed that anything was possible? What if you were the next Oprah? Someone once told me that her billion dollar idea for me was to be a talk show host. What if that was possible? I find that the more I think about it, the more possible it seems. I find that I smile more- that people notice my smile more- that I walk taller and prouder- that I feel more confident. Do not expect that anyone reading this will believe that I could be the next Oprah- but you do not have to believe. All you have to do is watch. Until the next time!

Update on Pushing the Gas Pedal

2009-11-13T05:12:00.002-05:00

One of the pieces of information that I am keeping on my blog is how many hits I get each day. Adsense keep this for me- nothing else just page impressions. Hope that the little ads on the bottom don't bother anyone, but it does generate a report on hits per day. As we are nearing the 2nd birthday of this blog (first post on Nov 15 2007!), thought that I'd take a look and see what gets hit. Overall, there have been 2446 hits on my blog- or about 3 per day. If I write about Trump, I get about 12 hits that day. If I post pictures, I get about 10. The biggest single hit count was when I posted pictures of Uncle Frank after he died- 41 hits (although there were multiple posts so each may have generated the 10). If you assume that the hits are generated by the last post written, then the post with the most hits was Pushing the Gas Pedal (114 hits from that post to the next). There was a month there. But it was a post that signaled a new beginning and I did promise to post on my progress. So here goes:

Desired Image: I started a ticker near the beginning of my journey. So far, I have lost 18.6 pounds in about 2 months.

Details for those interested: The first week, I had both the B12 shots and the appetite suppressants. Found that most of the time I forgot the suppressants, that I was not hungry when I forgot them, and that when I took them that my heart raced too much. They were gone at the end of the first week and that saved me $15/week. I developed a bad rash on my arm that we initially thought was soap but we think may be partly due to the B-12 shots. I only get B-12 once a month now. What seems to be doing the trick is the diet- 900 calories based on exchanges. I get 4 protein, 3 starch, 2 fat, 2 fruit, 2 dairy and 1 vegetable exchange each day- with a lot more vegetables on the free list. I use the dairy in my coffee each morning, then pack up the rest and take it into work- eating a little whenever I am hungry. I am supposed to be exercising 3 times per week- 30 minutes at a stretch. If you calculate Weight Watchers points on this- you get about 20 points per day, which is 6 per day less than my point limit before. But it makes sense. Maintenance is 4 points per day more than your calculated points limit. I was more or less maintaining but slowly gaining on my points limit, so if I take it down 6- I should lose normally for Weight Watchers and that is what happens. It is also possible with the 900 calories diet to meet all the good health guidelines: 5 fruit or vegetables (making sure to get 2 free veggies per day), 8 glasses of liguids (this diet wants you to have a gallon of water per day- but I have a hard time getting in more than 2 quarts), whole grains (so I make the starches whole grains), healthy oils (with my fats), and 2 dairy. Helped them form a walking group and we are out at Al Lopez Park every Saturday morning at 8AM and I am walking 3 miles- but am not timing it at this point.

As far as cleaning goes, there was burst of activity at the beginning- but found it hard to keep up- so we just adjust and try again and again and again.

Following Ivanka Trump on Twitter and she posted a quote that makes me think: "You can't build a reputation based on what you are going to do"- Henry Ford.

In the meantime, having a great time organizing the Christmas pageant- making me think about getting that certificate on event organizing- there are courses on Nov 21 and Dec 5.

When Helping Is Hurting

2009-11-11T07:34:00.003-05:00

My poem, The Discipline of Self-Esteem is about addiction and recovery. Here is an explanation verse by verse.

The soul is a wonder child.
It needs to be able to carry prayers to and from God.
It needs to be able to sense and feel and wonder and discover,
To release the wonder of it's potential on Earth.

Ever see a two-year old child? They are full of wonder and everything is new. I believe with all my heart that we are all meant to feel like that- with every fiber of our being. The world is a place full of wonder and mystery and only the pure of heart can see that in all of it's glory. Great saints, the obedient angels, and two year old children, very old senile persons who have lived good lives are all like that. The rest of us have problems and distance from God- and those problems combined with that distance keep us from the wonder.

We live in a world full of animals.
Full of greed and lust and self-satisfaction.
Full of taking and leaving and disappointing.
Devoid of responsibilities on Earth.

Criminals are like that. A lot of wealthy people who pursue wealth at the expense of others are like that. Addicts are like that- because all that matters is their addiction. Users and abusers are like that. Anyone who is obsessed with self and who ignores the pain of others is like that. We all have some of this in ourselves- and one of our goals in life is to eliminate all elements of this cancer from our being. This is the thoughtless sinner.

Society is a great policeman.
Full of laws, and rules, and internal regulations.
Full of put downs, push downs, and pull downs.
Devoid of the wonder of the Earth.

Society tries to control and help these problems. Help is not help when it takes away our freedom. Help is not help when it is over-responsible- when it takes away decisions from people that belong to them alone. And one of the real problems with helping is that often when we help- we put ourselves above another person- we think that we are better than them- and that puts them down, pushes them down- and sometimes even pulls them down. We feel that we are doing what we need to do- and it hurts both the helper (who feels that the helpee needs to be grateful, who feels put upon, who feels that others should be the ones who helps, and who may even enjoy the sense of power that they have over the unfortunate helpee.) and the helped (who feels like they are being treated like a child, who loses a sense of being able to help themselves, who may even surrender some of their sense of self and will to the helper). Both the helper and the helped are caught in a relationship that hurts both of them. It keeps them from seeing the wonder in the world because they are caught in the pain.

How do we chain the animal and not the soul?
How do we allow the wonder to be released without the anger?

So how do we deal with this conundrum? How do we help? We can't allow all the destructive behavior to run rampant in the world- we need control! We need to get rid of the pain!

We must learn the discipline of Self-Esteem.

Self-esteem is understanding who we are in relation to God and the universe. It is knowing the gifts that we bring to the world and it is giving those gifts freely and with complete joy in our heart. It is being open and faithful to our truest selves and doing nothing that will interfere with the expression of our inner being. It is fighting for the right to express ourselves- to be ourselves. It is struggling against any obstacles in our way and never, never, ever giving up. It is not listening to those who want to "help". It is taking care of ourselves- to always and everywhere do what we need to keep our bodies whole and healthy- no drinking to excess (more than one glass of wine or beer in a day), no smoking ever, avoiding sugar and non-nutritional fats, getting to bed at a decent hour, drinking lots of water, getting thirty minutes of exercise every day, learning something new every day, finding something of wonder every day, knowing our boundaries and making sure that others respect them, finding someone who loves us for who were are and who we can love with our whole body and soul- who would not do anything to us that they would not do to themselves- and giving ourselves only to that one person. It is being the person that God created us to be- no matter what the price- even death- because that is the only way to find life.

Releasing the Power of God on the Earth.

The Bible says that God gives us everything that we need. He has also given us every person that we need. No one is throw-away. No one is expendable. When hope for a person is over, they die and a new person is born to take their place. When people acting in free will creates a problem, a new person is born on the earth to fix it. When that child is aborted, another is conceived. And when each and every one of us on earth lives the Discipline of Self-Esteem completely- then God's Will will be done on earth as it is in heaven- and all the problems of the earth will be solved. We will all be wonder children.

Enabling is when we help another person continue to live in sickness. We worry that someone will be going to jail, becoming homeless, getting beat up- and we decide that we need to help to help them avoid these negative consequences of their behavior. When we do that, we allow them to continue to hurt themselves.

Here are some links on how to help alcoholics and to avoid becoming an enabler. We don't realize that when we enable we are really putting down, pushing down, or pulling down the person we are trying to help. We need to show them the way and just let go. It is hard but it is the right way.

How to Help an Alcoholic
When Helping Doesn't Help
Types of Things that Indicates Your are Enabling

Hope this helps someone out there today. God Bless! And May We All Everywhere and Every Time Learn to Live the Discipline of Self-Esteem!

Stamping Out Stinkin' Thinkin'

2009-11-10T06:54:00.003-05:00

Whenever I am faced with a situation beyond my control, I take out a set of rosary beads and spend 20 minutes in concentrated prayer. For me the rosary works- and when that is hard- I do the mercy chaplet which is easier. Both sets of prayers focus you on God's mercy and help. For people who can't do that, I'm sure that 20 minutes of the Lord's Prayer or Psalm 23 is just as good. Psalm 23 is one of those universal psalms- it is compatible with all religions.

There was a time when I was suffering from a pain too profound to pray. If you look at me today, you would never know that there were times in my life when I did not have a place to live. There were also days when Rob was 2 when I took him to day care but did not know where we would spend the night- and where I had to spend the whole day figuring it out. Thank God that was only for 4 or 5 days. We ended up without electricity for a week and without a phone for a month- but we got through that. We had to do that because we had to be safe. There was also a month or two in my life when I did not have a job and had nothing to live on but the $10-$20 a week that I made tutoring. I was a grad student, so there was no unemployment and I never had any real savings. There were days even weeks when I wanted to die. It was only the grace of God that got me through. For some reason, God has always provided miracles to keep me alive- even when I was 5 or 6. I don't know why- but that simple fact helps to realize that I have a purpose in life.

One of those times when my life was falling apart, I got the advice to go to 90 12-step groups in 90 days. If you're an alcoholic, it's easy- there are few places in any populated area where there are not AA programs- but when you are not- then you need to get a little creative. But I WAS able to find Al-Anon, CoDependents Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Weight Watchers, Over-eaters Anonymous, Messies Anonymous, and even a meeting for Social Anorexics- and a lot of those met more than once a week. It was the best experience of my life and helped me to get my priorities in line.

When I discovered Trump Univeristy, I got away from the 12 Steps- and maybe that was not a good thing- but I think that once you have your feet on solid ground, you need to learn the skills to thrive not just to survive healthy. First you need to get healthy- then you need to fly.

One of the best things I learned in my 12-steps years was the concept of Stinkin' Thinkin'. Some of those thoughts are: "I'm no good', "Why Doesn't Anyone Ever Help Me", "My problem is ---- (another person's name)","Every thing would be alright is only --- (anything can fit here)". You learn to realize that you can't make anyone else be something that they are not. You can show them the way out- but you can't make them walk. All you can do is fix yourself- and that is a major task all in itself. And no matter who you are- Donald Trump or Mother Teresa- there always and everywhere will be something that needs to be fixed. No one is no good- but almost everyone has behaviors that need to be fixed.

This morning I woke up with the phrase, "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" in my brain, so I googled it and got this article. Think this is a good place to start. I am going to try to live my life so that 6 days a week at least 15 hours per day, I am doing something constructive. On the 7th, I'll do something with my family. The Addition Principle taught me to add behaviors- not take things away- so maybe here are some habits to add.

Let's all try to stamp out some stinkin' thinkin' in OURSELVES today.

Prayer for Susan

2009-11-08T23:24:00.003-05:00

Dear Lord. Please look after Susan. Give her all that she needs. Open her eyes and let her see what needs to be done. Open the doors to the places that she needs to go. Do not let her heart despair. Send your angels to guard her and guide her. Let her get all that she needs- whether she wants it or not. Do not let things be given to her unless it will lead to her healing and her wholeness. Do not allow her to go further away from your love and protection.

Lord help all women struggling with abuse and alcohol. Do not let them be homeless and alone. Let them find what needs to change- and give them the resources to do it.

We ask this is Jesus' name. Amen.

A Mary Rose Halloween

2009-11-06T06:29:00.006-05:00

You can tell a lot about people from their Halloween posts. Some are scary. Some are gruesome. Some are sexy. Some are cute. Some are trick-or-treaters. Some carve pumpkins. Some have big parties. But for me, the best Halloween is one where groups of people get together doing something to make a memorable Halloween for small children. That is the essence of a Mary Rose Halloween!

Every year for Halloween, our workplace has a candy giveaway for the children at the on-site day care. It started out as just as candy giveway throughout the departments. Then the departments started to decorate. As the decorations became bigger and better, we started having a contest for the best decorations. For the past few years, it has been localized in one of our meeting areas where each department decorates a single table. The kids pass along the tables picking up goodies. For many years now, our department always wins. We have a crew of highly creative people, many willing hands who love to learn new things, and even a person who loves to collect used styrofoam all year so that we have enough building materials. We meet every Friday for about 2 months each year. This year, the day care decided that our tables needed to be in line with their Fall Festival where each class was dressing up as characters in a book. We had this idea for the Very Hungry Catepillar until we found that another group was using this theme. But caterpillar construction was already well underway! What do we do? We realized that there were many Eric Carle books about bugs, but his most famous book was Little Bear. So our theme was set: Little Bear, Little Bear What Do You See?- A very buggy, buggy world. We had a lot of fun, were able to keep it in a Halloween vein for our amusement- and the kids just loved it! Here are some pics!

My Best Places to Live

2009-10-07T16:42:00.003-04:00

Your Best Places

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This was a little quiz I took yesterday that picks out the best places for you to live based on a number of factors like weather, geography, what you like to do, and how you want to live. My top three places are in western Connecticut. Also figuring prominently are places on the Great Lakes and the coast of New England.

Pushing the Gas Pedal

2009-09-11T07:41:00.002-04:00

Must be getting tired of my slow and steady pace that is not making any progress.
Did several things this week to pick up the pace on self-improvement.

The first thing that I did was to get myself a set of 10 minute exercises to use with my exercise ball. Find that it is easier to get a good workout using the ball than almost any other way except walking.

Sat down and took a good long look at my Weight Watchers weight tracker. Over the last year there has been a slow steady gain of 14 pounds. Even if in the last eight weeks I've lost 0.2 pounds a week, I'd have to say that I need something more. Made an appointment to start up with Desired Image. We'll see how that works. Do not want to lose more than 2-5 pounds per week. This is designed to lose more than that but we'll see how things go. Chose a moderate pace at my appointment yesterday.

Realized that with the way I've been able to follow my evening routine (NOT), was not going to be able to make progress with the apartment, so have been doing Fly-Lady's crisis cleaning approach for the past 5 days and seeing a lot of progress. This approach is not designed for long-term use but seems to be the most effective tool in the bag at this point. Breaking things down into 3 minute foci seems to be an important key. It is hard for me to spend 15 minutes focusing on any one area- 3 minutes is just about right- It might take over an hour to get my 15 3 minute cycles but it gets done.

That's all for now. Let you know how it is working.

Inspiration by Rachel Ray- Recipes by Mary Rose

2009-08-31T03:48:00.003-04:00

In the past week, with the double whammy of a swollen, possibly broken toe and the flu, spent a lot of time on the couch with my feet up trying to get well, keep the swelling down and not go out of my mind. Rob and I turned to the Food Network for help in staying sane (he was sick too). We developed a real love for Paula Deen, Guy Fieri and Rachel Ray. None of them is all that diet friendly and none of the recipes highlighted are on my GERD-reduction list. Coincidentally, Opal has asked for healthy quick meal suggestions. I should be writing my book, but seems I might be writing a cookbook called Mary Rose's Garden- simple, quick, easy to prepare meals from the garden. I am going to use as my inspiration the recipes that I learned from my Mom and Grandma Elvington- with my own personal touches.

Last week I was watching Rachel Ray make her Spinach of Hot Ham Fake-Baked Pasta with a Crispy Top. It reminded me that I had not made the following dish in quite a while. This is my Broccoli Ham Macaroni and Cheese. This is not a lean meal- a whopping 11 Weight Watchers points if you divide it into 4 servings- but when you have to have mac and cheese or die- this is a complete meal that is very satisfying. And 11 points is not all that bad for a main meal occasionally.

Broccoli Ham Macaroni and Cheese

8 oz cooked ham
8 oz sliced portabella mushrooms
1 tbsp butter
1 cup milk
2 tbsp flour
1/2 cup water
1 cup non-fat milk
salt and pepper to taste
2 oz shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese
2 cups fresh or frozen broccoli
8 oz whole wheat elbow macaroni

Melt butter in large frying pan on medium-high heat. Add ham and cook until slightly browned.
While this is browning, put on a pan of water for the macaroni and microwave-cook the broccoli.

When the ham is brown, add sliced portabella mushrooms to the pan- if needed- add a few drops of water until mushrooms are lightly cooked.

While waiting for the water to boil, the mushrooms to get soft, and the broccoli to cook, grate 2 oz of cheddar cheese. When the water boils, add the macaroni- cook 8 minutes.

Mushrooms and ham should smell great by now. Put the flour and remaining water into an 8 oz jar- shake until well combined and add to the frying pan to form a nice roux. Slowly combine the milk to make a nice white sauce. When thickened turn the pan to warm.

If you are lucky- everything is ready to combine. Add the ingredients from the frying pan to a casserole dish. Place the grated cheddar cheese on top. Drain the broccoli and macaroni and add this to the mix. Stir until ingredients are combined.

For the crunchy top- combine grated parmesan cheese and seasoned bread crumbs then sprinkle over the top. Put the casserole dish under the broiler for a few minutes to get a crunchy top. Dinner is done! If you have some extra time and want to bake the casserole, put in the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

You can also make it ahead (don't broil) and refrigerate. To reheat, bake in oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes until nice and bubbly.

Can serve with a nice salad with a non-fat balsamic vinegar dressing.

Last night made Swiss Cheese and Portabello Hamburgers inspired by Rachel's Turkey Bacon Double Cheese Burgers with Fire-Roasted Tomato Sauce- not much in common except the cooking techniques and english muffins. Today, I am going to try my hand at making a simple tomato sauce all day in my slow cooker. Until tommorrow!

Adventures on the Road

2009-08-21T06:22:00.005-04:00

This week is Rob's 21st Birthday Extravaganza. The plan was to take three days and go to Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and Sea World. If the new coaster was running at Universal, Rob would get two new roller coasters added to his list. As each day in the parks are hard on Rob and I, we decided to go three separate days and rest a day between parks.

We got a 7-day 2 park pass for Universal-Islands for less than the price we have paid in the past for a 1 day 2 park pass. We had a pass for Sea World. Everything started out fine. We were off on Monday morning before 8 AM and were there at Universal shortly after opening at 9.

Ride lines were long but I was feeling adventurous and went on most of the rides with Rob. I was not up to the lines at "Disaster!", so took a breather and discovered an air-conditioned waiting room with seats! There was another ride that I really didn't want to go on- when the lap belts went down, I knew that I needed to get off. Rob said after he got off that it was a good thing I didn't go on because he knows what I would and would not enjoy. We had a great lunch at the Irish pub at the park.

As we were on the way out, Rob discovered that the new coaster was up and running, so he went on. This was not such a good thing because as soon as he was in line, it stopped running and it really did not get going again for over an hour. The park even closed. My legs were not OK and getting worse as time went on- but was able to go over to a nearly empty band pavillion, stretch out, walk around, and get my legs back into shape. As soon as I was told to leave- Rob was out of the ride. Things were going well.

We left the park and got into our car and hit the highway without getting lost. Good so far. Then the temperature gauge in the car started to go up. I looked for a place to get off but the gauge was going up too fast. We got off at the next exit and stalled out on the exit ramp. Not good at all. Here we were in a strange place, no AAA or AARP (though I was thinking about getting one or the other), no cell phone, after 9PM and stranded. Not good.

One of the trauma exercises that has always helped me a lot is to go back over an incident in your mind and see where Jesus was at the time. In this scene, Jesus was there in the particular exit that was chosen. This was the exit that you would take if you were going to the Disney Resort area (not in the parks- the commercial area surrounding the Downtown Disney area). The whole area was wall to wall hotels, there was an visitors center, and there were shops and restaurants all catering to tourists needs. In short, it was a place set up to serve strangers in a strange land. There can be shelter in such a place- there can also be dangers for your budget in such a place.

Rob did well in this situation. Think that his 21st birthday made him feel and act like a man. As we sat on the exit ramp, he decided to go for help. He found the visitors center, heard that help should arrive if we stayed with the car and that the worst thing we could do would be to leave it- he even got a map of the area and advice on where to stay for the night. We waited for about 45 minutes and were about to give up on help, when the ranger arrived. He filled us up with coolant, advised us not to travel too far because there was a leak somewhere, and gave us some advice. The most surprising thing to me was that he didn't seem to know where we should go for help in the morning or stay for the night- maybe he wasn't supposed to give out that kind of advice.

The next place where we found Jesus was in the inspiration of where to park the car when we couldn't find the place recommended by the visitor's center. We were at the Sheraton hotel, which I knew was not a budget place, but I knew that the directions that we had were not quite right. We walked back to the visitor's center and got some more directions, then decided to try to walk them to see if they were right- we walked quite a ways before we decided that if the place was up this road, it was too far.

When we got back to the Sheraton, we inquired about rates and found that my initial guess was correct- but the woman at the desk was great. She told us that even if we did NOT stay with them, we should come back in the AM to get help finding a place to take the car. Jesus was definitely with her. We checked the next place and decided that the difference in the rates was not worth giving up the amenities- and the place just seemed like it was where we needed to be. If we needed the internet there was a courtesy terminal that we could use for free the first 30 minutes. There was a concierge desk, an amenities store, and a restaurant- and the desk clerks were great. By the time we got to our rooms, it was after 11 PM. That goes with the wisdom that Trump gave in Think Like a Billionaire- quality is generally worth the price- so whenever you can, go for the quality.

The next morning, we were up and out about 7AM- got a hair brush, a couple of toothbrushes, and some toothpaste (very necessary). We also picked up two large slices of banana bread (yum) at $1 a piece which was breakfast. About 8 AM, we were ready to go find a car place. I asked at the desk for help locating the nearest certified mechanic and was connected to Jay at All Transmission World. It was nearly 5 miles away.

Lately, I had been praying that God would give me another billion dollar seed- something that would make the world better. How can you be upset when the situation may be an answer to prayer? Here's an idea that came out of this whole situation:

Billion dollar idea seed (maybe not that much but it should make someone a millionaire): If you have the knowledge to run a garage, then you really need to develop a business plan for a repair place on/near 535 as close to the entrance of Disney World resort as possible. Disney World is a place that several hundred million people dream of visiting. As air travel becomes out of the budget, more and more will go by car. If they are having trouble, they will get to the World hook line or sinker- then they will look for help. It would also be a good idea to have an auto parts store with repair space and tool rental attached for those tourists who are handy. You want to develop relationships with those near by and develop a strong reputation for help and fairness, so that you are the place that they call when someone needs help. Might want to develop friendships with the rangers in the area. If you have a good business plan, and the numbers of those who are stranded by car in the area are as high as I think that they are- you should not have any trouble getting someone with money interested. As with anything, crunch the numbers and build the relationships first. If you can make money for someone else, then you can make money for yourself- only you get to keep it.

(edited later in the day based on new information)
Jay at the South Orlando All Transmission World (ATW) was great. It seems that my transmission fluid was dark, indicating that the transmission needed to be rebuilt. It was a minimum of a $500 repair and could go much higher. We discussed buying a new car (and it was recommended) but I am not ready. Do not want to borrow any money that does not make me money for the rest of my life. Never want a new car again. I recently read something that Donald Trump wrote about buying cars- never buy new cars.

Cars are a depreciating asset- and new cars depreciate much, much faster than used cars. Some people think that leases are good ideas- but leases on new cars have the depreciation built in- and could cost you a lot at the end if the condition is not perfect. The way to minimize depreciation, according to Trump was to buy a certified used luxury car with a reputation for longevity like a Mercedes. If you can't afford one of those, then buy a certified used Honda. (Although I looked that up the other day and one of the least expensive would cost more than my car cost new). The idea is to minimize depreciation and buy a car that will last for many years. But I think that the best solution for my next car is not to buy a car until I can pay for it in cash.

That day, I decided to invest in a search to see if the car is worth fixing and worked out a deal where I could save up the money to get the car fixed- if the repair costs were worth it. Such a deal would not always be possible- so Jesus was there when the clerk was searching for the place to take the car. Jay wanted to do all he could to help us, which is another way that Jesus showed his hand. ATW was near Sea World, so Jay offered to take us over there for the day, then offered to take us home (an hour trip) at the end of the day. We were able to get to Sea World, Rob got another coaster in, and we had a great trip home with Jay and his wife. That is really above and beyond the call of duty. He is really a businessman worth his salt.

It gets better. When Jay was looking at the car today, it was obvious that I hit something from underneath that damaged the radiator and the car's computer, causing the radiator to crack and lose all it's fluid. The car got hot very fast- and the transmission was damaged. Called the insurance company and it looks like its covered, so I'll get my car back for my $500 deductible! Pray that it works out just this way!

This whole thing could have been a lot worse- had a hard couple of days before I was sure. The Addition Principle still holds. Do what you can, stay true to yourself, believe that luck will be with you- and God will provide. Awesome- and very true in this case.

Will keep you posted.

Things Being Meditated Upon Today

2009-08-19T10:05:00.003-04:00

Had some car trouble on the highway and it is a worry. For several hours did not remember my little chant, and my spirit would not allow it to help when I did. Could not do a rosary during that time also. Tried but could not get the prayers out. The second time that I had a long roller coaster wait, I forced myself to pray- and felt at peace. Will tell the story when my energy is flowing free again. Today is about getting that energy clean.

Have to remember the Addition Principle- things that I felt after my co-worker Nancy Norvell died- and that I believe came from God (perhaps with her intercession) to help me through my inner struggles. I remember Catherine Batsche telling me that I needed to write a book and these statements are all that came from that suggestion- each statement should be a chapter- but it is good to just have the headings:

* Any small change in behavior will conquer any problem no matter how huge, given enough time and a little luck.

* Every major religion teaches that God blesses those who make small positive changes so believe that luck will be with you.

* One step at a time in the right direction does a lot more than major overhauls, is easier, and the effects last longer.

* Bigger problems need more little changes, but bigger changes will occur before you believe it.

* When you have a big job that needs to be done, use the division principle- make the big job a lot of little behaviors

* Abstinence feels like loss. Loss is hard to endure. Add behaviors, don't abstain.

* Adding behaviors will change defeat into triumph, loss into gain, illness to recovery, grief into new beginnings.

Today the thought is that I must believe that God blesses those who do what they can to overcome their problems- and thus luck will be with me.
The only two lines of my poem Discipline of Self-Esteem that make my spirit soar are the last two- the ones I believe come from God. We must learn the discipline of self-esteem to release the power of God upon the earth.

Our soul is like a transmission. Everything is OK as long as the fluid is pink and flowing freely throughout the body- then we can live up to our potential and be the people that God created us to be. If we all are like that, then great things can and do happen.

Got a link from my google search on Discipline of Self-Esteem that was really great.
The Foundation of Self-Esteem
It gives some insight into why sometimes the Discipline of Self-Esteem fails when you fail to make a small positive change- when you make promises to yourself and keep them- self-esteem grows. As self-esteem grows, the ability to make changes grow. When you break promises to yourself, the ability to make changes gets weaker. I only saw the positive side but failed to take into account what happens on the negative side- but realize that it is true. Think that developing the ability to forgive yourself for being human is important. I'll have to bookmark this page for myself.

Reading this article reminded me of the poem that my Mom made me memorize growing up- the Man in the Glass. Found the original and Mom's version does not have the right title and some things were different- but suspect that the original is the real inspiration so will pass this on.

The Guy in the Glass

Just keep the guy in the glass happy and your transmission will run smooth and clear.
So I'm off to live my day and keep Mary Rose happy with herself.
It's going to be a great, great, great day!

Have a great day yourself- do whatever needs to be done to be happy with yourself- and let God take care of the rest!

Another Look at the Stuff In Our Lives

2009-08-13T21:48:00.001-04:00

This was sent to me at work and think that it makes so thought provoking comments.

The Story of Stuff

Mary Rose's Vegetable Garden

2009-08-13T05:41:00.003-04:00

With the right growing methods, you can grow a lot more than strawberries on your patio. Right now I have a 44 inch diameter table on my back porch with an eastern exposure. There is a wall on the north side of the table. I can easily stick a 2' by 4' garden on this table and attach a tomato tower. Also have at least 3 large 12" planters. That gives me 11 gardening spaces. Looking at the Florida Extension services web site, I am in the central growing area, so in August/September I can plant tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, watermelon, lettuce, and pumpkin. In October I can add: strawberries, spinach, and carrots. In January/February I can't grow spinach, but I can grow potatoes, cantaloupe and all the rest. All of these things have been grown in the square foot garden in a single square foot. I can even make upside planters from soda bottles, which sounds like something that Adrik would love. If I get carried away, I can even cover my table with a trellis and put some netting over it to keep away pests and discourage the neighborhood children.

Looking forward to the planning, then the planting and growing, but especially the harvest! Will keep you updated.

Growing Your Own Salad!

2009-08-12T08:39:00.002-04:00

Recently I have been trying to grow my own salad. The main thing is how to do get a lot of gardening space on a patio. Found this great site and I am going to try to grow my own veggies using this method. Right now have to find ways to get these containers.

Here's the Link
Square Foot Gardening

Mary Rose and Bill 1954

2009-06-22T06:50:00.002-04:00

Found this photo that has been ruined a bit, so decided to scan it and put it out for those who value the image. This is my brother Bill and I when he was 1 year old and I was two. Amazing how little Bill has changed- there is more hair and more wrinkles but there is a lot of this little Bill still in his current photos.

The Last Month

2009-06-19T06:33:00.002-04:00

Since my last post, I've been busy. Spent a lot of time in late May getting ready for teaching VBS. As usual, even though the program is not designed to have a decorated room, I found ways to get giant 30" by 60" portraits of each of the Saints, flags, and Bible verse posters up on the walls. I volunteered to help my coordinate the Christmas pageant and next year's VBS- to make sure that they were a success next year. I've been working on building up my walking stamina and can now walk 2 miles- working on not being last in a 5K on July 19th. After that, I hope to build up a quarter mile per week each Saturday until April 2011 when I hope to be walking in the Boston Marathon and see my family! Been working and succeeding in getting my apartment clean. Been reading snips of Trump's Think Like a Champion and applying it to my life. Learned a little about boosting my credit rating the other night in a Trump Webinar. Also been using the Children's Prayer book given out in VBS to make sure that I read a little Bible every day. Work has been great- been learning new things and keeping projects running! And Rob has volunteered for a new chore- washing the dishes! Well HIS dishes. But every little bit counts. Hope to write a little each week- see you then!

The Lord is Leading Me

2009-05-19T05:35:00.002-04:00

The first week that I was in the criminology program at USF, a professor asked us all what we would do if we could do anything in the world- if we met the right people- had all the right contacts etc. My answer to that was that I wanted to do something that would help to reduce the incidence of domestic violence in this country. At that moment, I was thinking of designing a treatment program- but that was not my path in life. All the time in that program, God kept drawing me back to the Discipline of Self-Esteem until I finally began to realize that it was in promoting the Discipline of Self-Esteem that I would best accomplish this goal.

For a while I thought that I would write, but I know that when the Lord wants me to write- he gives me great things to say- and the writing has been hard lately.

But this TV season, I realized that if a person had a cause to sell, maybe the best way to sell it was to form a non-profit organization- and that maybe the Lord has lined up all the things that I would need and put them right into my doorstep- including something frustrating that made me ruminate on how important things like VBS were to children who suffer from violence. We could all stop violence right now- but I don't know how. Violence occurs and can have long-lasting effects. We have treatment programs, but the biggest problem is getting people to accept treatment- because people who have suffered violence lose trust in people- and it takes a lot of trust to accept treatment.

Resilience is a concept that I have been lucky enough to discover. When a person is resilient, bad things can happen- but they have been inculated against them-so they survive them but suffer less damage. Resilience is due to both genetic and environmental factors. We do not live in a world where we manipulate the genetic factors- thank God. Environmental factors are good schools, good churches, treatment programs, and activities that build self-esteem and cooperative play in the community. Building good schools is more than I can handle- I'll leave that for Opal! I've tried for years to build good churches but that is too frustrating for me- and for me- it is only something I can accomplish one church at a time. I'll leave that to Chuck and Amber! Research works but if the Lord wanted me to have a Ph.D., he would have cooperated more. I'll leave that for the trauma group at FMHI. Research is only as good as public policy that allows it to be implemented- but everyone knows that I am no politician!

But the sphere where I have been working for the past 22 years- the thing that has meant the most for me- is giving children those positive experiences through Faith Formation, Christmas pageants, and Vacation Bible School. In my own life, I was lucky enough to grow up in Medway, Massachusetts, a town that cared about it's children. Every summer, we had Field Days at the park- a two week program of games and arts & crafts. We had brownies and Girl Scouts-and a Girl Scout Camp. We had two bands- a school band a church band. St. Joseph's Catholic Church sent out a bus to pick up all the children in town for CCD classes. We had a music teacher who put on a musical every year for all age groups in the Jr-Sr High School. We had a swimming program for three weeks every summer. We had Little League baseball. And the very best part- all these programs were FREE (except the girl scout camp and the church band but these were very affordable- even for poor families)! Any child who wanted could participate. And we were encouraged to organize our own activities. For a while, I wrote plays and put on shows for Mom and Dad using all of my brothers and sister for players- then I even organized a neighborhoos show in our garage and would have done more- except the garage burned down!
I simply cannot tell you how much these experiences helped me as I encountered the struggles of my life since those golden days.

It came to me- that if I wanted to make a difference on the incidence of domestic violence- maybe the one thing that I could do was to make sure that children impacted by DV had lots of chances to play! We do a lot to make sure children are safe and have the treatment that they need. We do not do a lot to make sure that they have the enrichment experiences that they need. We think of these things as extras- as things that can and should be cut in a tough economy. We do not think of these things as innoculations against trauma. But when I need peace, I sing White Choral Bells- a song that I learned in Girl Scout camp, when I need joy- I do arts and crafts at VBS or dress 150 children for a pageant. These were things that helped me to survive. Writing this is a start- it helps to get the word out into the world- and as we know- words are seeds that grow the discipline of self-esteem.

Enthusiastic Service

2009-05-16T07:10:00.002-04:00

Last night Rob and I went to the Sonny's Barbecue on North Dale Mabry. This is not an unusual event- whenever we are shopping up there we drop in because Rob loves barbecue and I can get some chargrilled chicken and a salad bar not too heavy on Weight Watcher points. Tonight was unusual because of a waiter name Mikal (spelling might be wrong but the pronounciation would be close).

It seems that Sonny's has cut back on some amenities because of the economy. Instead of giving customers a choice of Splenda, Equal, and Sweet N Low- they are only offering sugar and Sweet N Low. Right off the pat- he asks if I want sweetener in my unsweetended tea and then-which brand do I use? I was a little taken aback because I hadn't seen that I was being deprived of my Splenda yet. When I said that I used Splenda, he takes 3 packets out of my pocket and explains that Sonny's doesn't offer Splenda anymore, but he has taken the iniative to go out and purchase different brands of sweeteners to offer the customers- he also explains that he also purchases mints- and takes some of these out of his pocket. I thought this was cool and told him so. Also told him that he would be OK with us as long as he kept Rob's water full. That is Rob's pet peeve and something that ruins dinner for us occasionally. Rob needs to be well hydrated to be happy. On Mother's Day he complained all through dinner and it was not until dinner was complete that he told me that it iwas because the waiter had not refilled his water once, although he had refilled my ice tea several times.

Well I have to say that the dinner was memorable. Mikal was smiling, pleasant, talking and very attentive. Rob's water was kept so full that he had too much- which is a change. When I went up to the salad bar, he asked Rob is he needed something- and brought Rob's dinner out FAST. My chargrilled chicken took a few minutes- but it was great- it really had the nice charred taste!

Told him that the service was outstanding and that I would not be surprised if he ended up owning the place. It was service like this that really underscores Donald Trump's point that you need to promote your brand 24/7 and that winners take control. Mikal did, even though his company is forgetting this important point, and it made a difference. If Trump was there, he would have left this guy a HUGE tip, I just left 25%- which is my version of huge.

A Scary Night

2009-05-15T04:03:00.002-04:00

Wednesday night we posted that we were in a tornado warning! My son told me that meant that one had touched down. When we went on to the news, we discovered that the warning was right on top of us! But by the time we had heard about it, it was almost over. Having trouble with power since that time- electricity keeps flickering and there were downed lines. This is nothing like the midwest trouble- but was shocked to discover this Video of damage to a home near us! A tree caved in their roof! Glad I decided to wimp out and not go to choir that night- after we turned on the TV we found that the intensity of the storm would have followed me to choir practice! Just shows that the Lord takes care of us wherever we are and gives us good impulses!

Wherever you are- stay safe!